a brave new world

I woke up on the day of new year’s eve and walked (not a runner) the streets of mexico alone. I thought of the year that was closing and the year that was about to begin. I stopped in a local tourist hot spot and wrote my timeline for another public life coaching event coming up. I ate a lot. I love to eat. I have eaten so much in the past month it is baffling to me how I lost weight. I ate to make myself feel less pain. I went to a church. “ take me to church “ is one of my favorite songs from last year. I can barely listen to music. I go to the movies alone. I can’t seem to go with anyone else.  you.  in the beautiful church made of glass, I prayed. I prayed in every language I know. I asked for faith and for forgiveness. I thanked god for his kindness. I walked again.

it’s been a very trying year. its been a glorious year for my son and for me professionally, physically too. although, the stress is showing. I am thin. I am never thin. I am really excited to be cared for, to be fed and loved.

verda has been a constant and so has the gym and yoga. for these things I am grateful and loyal.

I am really afraid and very excited for my personal future. I feel vulnerable and alive. it is scary.

I am going to podcast more this year. I am always afraid of showing pain or sadness. I place an enormous pressure on myself to keep a stiff upper lip always. it’s time to let go. I am human and have been hurting. podcasting records my volume, my ptich- I don’t hide well. I’d rather show imperfection than pretend happy. for these reasons I stayed off the mic. my blogs have suffered too. I am sorry.

I look forward to life, travel and clarity. no clutter or confusion. I have always been very clear on what I want. I plan on shining very bright.  please get courtside seats to watch the magda lopez show explode to the highest heights.

my black beads are beautiful, please bring them soon.

and if you don’t know, it’s a new year,