I am tired of answering what my religion is. I’m a faithful person. my religion is love. I practice love. I don’t post about love, I give love. sex is not love. protection is love. I am a fierce protector. I am a non practicing catholic. I love judaism. I take the great from the greatest and apply accordingly. I had the best holiday ever. the reality of my son leaving me made me do and redo things in the most passionate ways. I celebrate every day but this holiday season was really magical. I am grateful.

I was in the back of an uber the other night and we were talking about george micheal. his song faith was the topic. he died today. I can’t help but reflect every time there is a death, a marriage, a graduation, a birth. the real milestones of life. where am i? am I where I belong? have I done enough?  who is with me? who is really with me?

I am very much looking forward to this new year. roman will be 17.  I will be changing almost everything in my life all in one year. I’m excited.

george sang a few songs I love. I’m an eighties girl. I like it.  “freedom” was one, “careless whispers” ,” I want your sex” were epic in my life. time doesn’t forgive bullshit. time happens. it is the greatest loss ever. a moment can change everything. RIP WHAM

this blog was amazing for me. I made memories in the past three years. they are all here. I am proud of the errors, scars (if you will), misspelled words, emotion recorded. it is my truth, my reality. it is for you to read and re read. I don’t hide well. I don’t do DM, I don’t want lies or secrets anywhere near me. I love freedom.

thank you for the years of readership, loyalty and criticism. I am grateful.

this holiday I lived magic.  I almost died. the eyes of a child popped out of me.  I couldn’t believe the feeling of warmth that came over me. had I been longing for this? did I miss this so much and just buried it since the divorce?  frankly, I am in awe of it all. what I do know is that my final blog is one of mystery and wonder and excitement.

I have never felt so powerful in my life.

and if you don’t know, happy new year,