child please

I met Chad Ocho Cinco in the club at the Fountainbleau Hotel years ago.  he said, “child please” in a conversation we had. it stuck with me all of these years.

it took me four years to get pregnant. I was a smoker, an addict. or what I thought was addiction at the time. the doctors told me the nicotine prevented me from getting pregnant. my then husband already had a child from a previous marriage, my beautiful stepson. now, I think perhaps he also delayed the process because he already knew what being a parent felt like. also, he had other things going on. get it, things!

all I ever hoped to become was a good wife and mother. I got the wife part, but struggled with the baby for years. my father desperately wanted a grandchild. it happened. they met. the two major keys in my life, enrique and roman.

I love being a mommy so much it hurts. when I meet friends and speak to family that I value in the HIGHEST, I share this with them. a child is a great love, the ultimate sacrifice. I wish for the people I love the most that they too can feel this love. I begged god for roman “child, please”. I was lucky.

I want ONLY the most for my family, friends and tribe. for me, roman is the greatest love of all.


and if you don’t know, I am rommy’s mom,




no filter



I just wasted an hour of my sunday morning cleaning up my tagged posts on instagram. thank goodness I wake up at 5am.  this is where a complete stranger tags you and it can appear as if you were together. the intent can be for plain advertisement, association or love. in this case, a complete stranger has taken it upon himself to tag me daily. it is kind but annoying and I have no need or desire to have this represent me. I feel like blocking him but will wait to address him on the next opportunity. I work hard to be a good mother, great friend, contributing community player and master at coaching. I am not prepared to have people claim me for their own benefit. it’s a really fucked up world. this social media bullshit is not reality. I am grateful for it, I get paid. but man, peeps be trippin.

I had someone very close to me say “ but how are you supposed to ask someone out on a date ?” this week. who the fuck wants to be addressed through a fucking computer? where is the humanity in it all? the impulse?  the organic aspect of love is so beautiful. you can’t smell someone through social media, see them for more than a minute, hear their voice, truly love them. you can however, be tricked, conned and hurt through these connections. if a person wants to be with you, they will be, if a like replaces a date or a follow replaces a touch- it is fake! if you are being hidden through media, you are not being loved. MAJOR TRUTH ALERT!!!!! LOVE IS THE KEY. THEY don’t want you fa real.

happiness and love come from within. dig people.

DM or private message is gross. I have thousands of them and they will remain unopened for life. they are a constant reminder of what I don’t want. I feel sorry for the folk that COMMUNICATE falsely. I would rather live with cats than live like that. people actually believe this. how can a human believe in love through a computer? maybe it was that I had love, lived love, smelled love and truly feel it that I can decipher between the two. it could be.

I had the option about a month ago to change the status of my insta account to public figure. I am indeed a national life coach (certified), soon to be international. I work. I get paid. I get sponsored. I fully understand what I am opening myself up to.  I received an enormous amount of creeps. what do people think? I receive phone calls from complete strangers all over the world wasting time, looking for love. is that what we’ve come to? it saddens me. it doesn’t allow for the true essence of knowing another human. its truly disappointing. sharing certain (not all) aspects of life doesn’t warrant weirdness.

friendship for me takes years, many years. love is sacrifice, lots and lots of sacrifices. business is an agreement between people for the production of money or a greater purpose. social media is a tool for all of it. sadly, it is often cheapened into a low level this isn’t helping the divorce rate.

I am grateful my son is sixteen years old. I am thankful I have taught him to respect social media and understand it for what it is and what it isn’t. a believer of fairy tails on facebook, snap, insta, instasnap , yada. yada, yada is in for a big surprise. life is on the outside, with fresh air, heartbreak, raw emotion, heart pumping action, commitment.  life is so cool.

I have been on snap chat for more than one year. please do NOT request me. I will NOT accept. snap is meant to guard my son MAINLY. I am a life coach. if you want to hire me, please do. I am happy in my personal life, I am NOT looking for anyone through media, that would make me a sad individual. I choose happy. if you want to be my friend, ask me. if you want to ask me out on a date, ask me. I respect that. real relationships is the new black bro. I have no respect for prowlers, creeps, weirdo’s, stalkers and my fave , LIARS!!!!! a lie can be spotted on social media in seconds, the sun always comes out. sunshine blasts shade. happiness kills hate. liars are always discovered. I get paid for my voice, my words. why on earth would I give it for free?  I like the word privacy. I really do.

my 20th year wedding anniversary is this year. I will be having my main event on this day. this event is sponsored by ONE MIAMI. I didn’t plan it this way. actually, I didn’t plan it. I have an event manager. she did. when I saw the date, I laughed. I was going to open up and talk about my failed love life anyway but now its certain.  I always avoid this topic in public. I am more proud of other aspects in my life. love is a challenge for me. please come it’s going to be lit!

on September the first, I will be hosting a ride with RAWBABYSUGAR (insta) at soul cycle at 8PM in benefit of the underline Miami. frankie ruiz, the one and only- will be there too. one hundred percent of the proceeds are going to this genius cause in the name of my friend, ANNIE! I have few friends. she was one of them. she died. I am keeping her alive through this. she would’ve liked that. I knew her for over 30 years. we weren’t tied through social media- get it. please come, it is a donation based ride- it’s free. open your heart. for your bike!

I know an enormous amount of people. I am national, soon to be international but have FEW friends. quality baby, till death do us part, truth!  around me I only want REAL!

frienships are for life. love is sacrifice- life is lived outside of a mechanical device. if you’re hiding, you aren’t living.


and if you don’t know, no filters in my life,




I’ve seen enough. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. I am comfortable and convinced. I’ve decided that the live life channels are for the celebrity and I’m taking a back seat. My life is mine. I don’t want a TV show, unless I am generously compensated. If I’m on it, it’s because I’m getting paid. If you see me wearing a waist trainer, I got paid. If you see me eating protein powder, I’m getting paid. Volunteering your life for free is no different than match. Com. I don’t believe in finding love on social media. I never will.

Snap happy is so PC. Instasnap is where it’s at! Not for “REVETE” !!!!!

Thank goodness my son is grown and I have everything I want. What a world! Every time you log on everyone sees you. Duh???? If you have fake accounts, they see you. At least the you, you want to convey. Most of the time, the edited version. If you have lovers, they see you. There really is no privacy. I am eternally grateful that I have nothing to hide. In a world where “they” see you, lying is short lived. I guess that is a blessing. DJ Khaled would agree with me on this. He is about to have a baby. With all the fan luv, I would bet he has a stable, honest relationship. When you have something you hold in the highest, you protect it. He seems like a fierce protector. Tony Robbins and Major Key teamed up not too long ago. Greatness becomes greater.

I feel like I have really closed myself to distractions this summer and because of this I have succeeded. I have had peace. My birthday was perfect. All the true players showed me love. Real love. For this, I am fortunate.

I’m meeting with one of my biggest sponsors (that means there are several) for the Flawed and Fit event tomorrow morning. I feel like I am living in a dream. People pay me to do what I have always done- be happy. I get paid for this. Once again, I’m a lucky mutha fucka.

and if you don’t know, gratitude is always my attitude,


Zika what? Zika who?


The weather in Miami hasn’t been so good. The Zika in Miami has been even worse. Did I just write that, Zika!!! Cray.

I came back to more birthday songs, cakes and gifts. I have love. I am so lucky.

Summer is almost over and I feel like I’m just beginning. I’m on the brink of professional success daily, personal growth and yes I’m feeling very good. It’s fun.

I’m adapting to this time zone still, managed to sweat (in every way) daily but I’m weak. Travel is life. Travel also takes its toll.

The only constant in my life is happy. It’s true!!! So boo, thank you.

and if you don’t know, I love prince,