I remember holding Roman so close to my chest. I squeezed so tight, it hurt me. I was so careful because he was just an infant. My heart pumped quickly. My only goal was to protect what I loved. For me, love is protection. I always wanted him to feel safe. I always wanted him to know I would stand in front of him and take a bullet. I always wanted him to know he would never be alone.  I was successful. even in a world where love tastes different to so many, he knows what protection means. I am so fuckn grateful.

Freedom means being happy. being set free means living out of fears limitations. I am fearless. I really am.

rick Fox and I hung out this week. yep, that Lakers dude. god was kind to him. I spoke to John Salley too. it isn’t by chance that this happens. I trust the universe.

I shocked myself this week professionally. I am still coming down from that high. 

I found a dollar, I was alone all week but my family keeps reminding me that I am never alone. I was one.

I never understood that, through all of the yoga, meditation, health and stuff. I never really got it. I understand now.  more than ever, I comprehend. it takes a lot for me to surrender. I surrendered.

with all of the anguish i could muster up, with the regret -I gave up. and then, the hush- the silence broke me. I was edited. because of it, I truly felt the power of life.

I went to the movies before the trip, suicide squad was bomb.

I know what I’m going to be for halloween. I love the holidays. I love to feel alive. if you feel like hugging me, show me https://fitsexyandflawed.splashthat.com/ . I love love.

to fight fire, you smile. to keep freedom, be free. to fight terrorism. live.


and if you don’t know, love is protection,